A bunch of F words (not what you expect)

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 01-Oct-2006 13:20:25

The Final Fixing of the Foolish Fugitive - a Parable

Rev. W. O. Taylor, 91, was the oldest man attending the
Southern Baptist Convention a few years ago. At the annual
free breakfast for retirees, Brother Taylor rose and recited
his own alliterative version of the parable of the prodigal
son, which he entitled "The Final Fixing of the Foolish
Fugitive":

"Feeling footloose, fancy-free, and frisky, this
feather-brained fellow finagled his fond father into forking
over his fortune. Forthwith, he fled for foreign fields and
frittered his farthings feasting fabulously with
fair-weather friends. Finally, facing famine, and fleeced by
his fellows in folly, he found himself a feed flinger in a
filthy farmlot. He fain would have filled his frame with
foraged food from the fodder fragments.

"'Fooey! My father's flunkies fare far fancier,' the
frazzled fugitive fumed feverishly, frankly facing fact.

"Frustrated from failure and filled with forebodings, he
fled for his family.

"Falling at his father's feet, he floundered forlornly.
'Father, I have flunked and fruitlessly forfeited further
family favors. . .'

"But the faithful father, forestalling further flinching,
frantically flagged his flunkies to fetch forth the finest
fatling and fix a feast.

"But the fugitive's fault-finding frater, faithfully farming
his father's fields for free, frowned at this fickle
forgiveness of former falderal. His fury flashed, but
fussing was futile.

"His foresighted father figured, 'Such filial fidelity is
fine, but what forbids fervent festivities? The fugitive is
found! Unfurl the flags! With fanfare flaring, let fun,
frolic, and frivolity flow freely, former failures forgotten
and folly forsaken. Forgiveness forms a firm foundation for
future fortitude.'"

Post 2 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Sunday, 01-Oct-2006 18:27:07

How creative. Thanks.

Bob

Post 3 by frequency (the music man) on Sunday, 01-Oct-2006 20:32:25

haha

Post 4 by Raskolnikov (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Sunday, 15-Oct-2006 1:44:37

If it was after breakfast that he gave his speech, old W. O. Taylor must've left that microphone full of food that flew from his four remaining frontal teef.

Post 5 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Sunday, 15-Oct-2006 4:58:32

Ha ha ha! Raskolnokov.

Post 6 by Pure love (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Sunday, 15-Oct-2006 16:30:14

Lol. Right. Hey this is a great version of the story I like it. Lol